Where's My Money!? 2/Transcript
Act I Act II Act III Act IV Act V Act VI Act VII Stewie: So, you 2 haven't got our money? Phineas: No, but Friday we'll give you your money. Mark: Oh, well, alright then. (Drinks Orange Juice, so does Stewie.) Mmm, that's good O.J. Isn't it, Stewie? Stewie: Yes, yes it is, Brown. You two should really try this. It's really good. Isabella: I agree. Isn't it good, Phineas? Phineas: Yes, yes it is, Isabella. Brendan: Well, I'm glad you 2 like it, but there's one thing you forgot. Phineas: Really? What? Stewie: This. (He, along with Mark smashes a wooden chair on Phineas & Isabella's heads.) Phineas & Isabella: Aaargh! Aaarghh!! Stewie: Yeah, that hurt? Phineas & Isabella: Aargh! Mark: That hurt? Phineas: What the hell, Brown?! That really f*cking hurt! (He & Isabella continues yelling.) Stewie: Yeah, that don't feel so good, does it? No, huh? (He & Mark punches Phineas & Isabella.) Yeah, that's what happens, man! (He & Mark continues beating Phineas & Isabella up.) Where's our money!? Mark: You gonna give us our money? Where's our money, man?! (Phineas & Isabella coughs up blood, Stewie & Mark gets towel racks, continuously hits Phineas & Isabella with them.) Where's the money, man?! Stewie: Yeah, you like that?! That feel good?! (He, along with Mark holds Phineas & Isabella's heads in toilet water, Phineas & Isabella starts screaming more and Stewie & Mark takes them out of the toilet.) Where's the money, man?! Mark: Where's our money, man!? You got till six o'clock. You hear me?! You got till 6 o'clock! Isabella: You freakin' ******s! Mark: Yeah, clean yourself up. Stewie: Yeah, what he said. Act VIII Phineas: (crying) Oh, it's hopeless! We're gonna die if we don't bring his money! Isabella: (confronts him) Aw, please don't cry! Wait! I've got an idea! Phineas: (stops crying) What is it? Isabella: What if we give them these fake money that look exactly like the real money? Phineas: (dreamily) Ooh, I like that! Go on. Isabella: Anyways, we've got Stacy going undercover like last time. Phineas: What does that have to do with us? Isabella: I'm getting to that part. We watch from across the street, like last time. She's gonna disguise herself as Edna Krabappel from the Simpsons. She's gonna divert him to a fake elementary school, which in reality is a prison cell. Phineas: Wow! Nice plan, Isabella! Act IX (Scene cuts to the hallway, where Phineas & Isabella are seen putting mustaches on. They see Mark & Stewie and walks past them.) Phineas & Isabella: (incognito) Mornin'. Stewie: Good day to you, sir & madam! Brendan: Wait a minute! What the hell!? Phineas & Isabella: Oh-h-h-h-- (Mark & Stewie pushes them down the stairs) Aaargh! Oh-ow-ow-ugh! Ohh... (Mark & Stewie hits their heads with golf clubs) Argh! Mark: Getting real tired of you duckin' us, man! Phineas: Oh, my God! Stewie: Yeah, gettin' really tired. Huh? Phineas & Isabella: Ogh! Arg-argh! Mark: Where's our money?! Where's our money?! Stewie: Yeah, you got money to pay for fake mustaches, huh? Yeah, huh? How much did you pay for those fake moustaches? Phineas: $2.99. Phineas & Isabella: (Mark & Stewie take out their BB guns & shoot Phineas & Isabella's right knees.) Aaargh!! Ow! Oh! Oh..! Isabella: Listen, you just gotta give us more ti... Phineas & Isabella: (Mark & Stewie shoot their left knees.) Aaargh! Phineas: OW! THAT REALLY HURTS! Oh, alright, here's your money. And Brown? Mark: Yes, Phineas? Phineas: STOP TORTURING US!!! Mark: I'm sorry, but THAT WAS YOUR ONE GODDAMN JOB, PHINEAS! TO GIVE ME MY F*CKING MONEY BY SIX 'O CLOCK! (Phone rings) Who's this? Edna Krabappel? I thought she was dead! (answers the phone) Yes? Stacy: (on phone) How would you like to go back to school? Mark: Isn't this summer? Stacy: (on phone) Yes, it is summer, but the last time I looked at your grades from 1-4 and it seems like you've got a lot of F's at that time! Mark: Hey! Aren't you Stacy Hirano?! Stacy: (on phone) Uhh... (over the police radio) Dispatch, my cover's been compromised, you better tail the suspect down, over. Act X Mark: Well sh*t, we're gonna get busted, again! Stewie: In that case, there's only one thing to do. Kill the godamn kids! Mark: (Brings out his sniper rifle and aims at Phineas & Isabella.) Isabella: Brown, what are you doing!? Mark: If anyone's going to kill the b*tches, it's going to be me. Now, I just got one question for you, Phineas & Angelica, (Cocks his sniper rifle.) any last words? Isabella: Uh, stop calling me Angelica! How's that for last words? Mark: Very well. Prepare to die! (Suddenly, a spotlight flashes on Mark & Stewie, numerous cop cars circle the area) DPD Helicopter Pilot: This is the Danville Police Department! We know what you're gonna do, Brown! DROP YOUR WEAPON! Mark: Stewie, we need to get out of here! But first, there's one thing I want to do. (Quickly gets out his pistol and shoots Phineas in the leg) Phineas: OW! Same goddamn leg! (A SWAT guy from the helicopter shoots both Mark & Stewie in the back, who both fall on the ground) Police Officer #1: Are Mark & Stewie dead? (Phineas pokes them both with a stick, they groan) Phineas: Nope, just unconscious. Police Officer #2: Good, because I'm really getting sick of this violence & swearing that's going on in this city. You better be careful next time, kids. Phineas: We promise! (Mark & Stewie are carried into a SWAT truck, the cops drive away. Isabella puts a bandage over Phineas' leg wound) Phineas: Oh, man, what a day that was! Isabella: Yeah, if the police didn't arrive soon enough, we'd have been dead by now! Phineas: Too bad Stacy's cover was blown. Isabella: It happens sometimes. Phineas: (kisses Isabella) Well, we better go home now. Isabella: Right. (Adam & Brian comes up.) Adam: There you are! We was worried sick! Brian: We came as quick as we could. Phineas: You did? Brian: Yeah! We heard what happened and came as quick as we could! End Credits (Scene cuts to Phineas' bedroom where Phineas & Isabella are comfortable in bed.) Phineas: You know Isabella, we had a close call. Isabella: We did, Phineas. Mark & Stewie is in jail and we've been lucky. Phineas: (Yawns) Yeah, and Adam & Brian was really kind to make us better. Isabella: They were. You know Phineas, you're really a beautiful boyfriend. (Phineas snores. Isabella looks and smiles at Phineas.) Isabella: Sweet dreams, Phineas. I wonder how Mark & Stewie is doing in jail. (She smiles and goes to sleep. Scene then cuts to Danville Prison where Mark & Stewie are arguring.) Mark: This is all your fault, Stewie. If we'd fled earlier, none of this would have happened. Stewie: Shh, I'm trying to watch TV! (Mark & Stewie look at the TV) Announcer: Tonight, a brand new show hits on WJOP! It's Danville Vice, the TV show about 2 undercover cops working together to stop Mark Brown! Starring Lucy Liu as Stacy Hirano, Steve Buscemi as Adam Williams & Tom Cruise as Mark Brown! Lucy Liu as Stacy: Looks like that Mark guy is up to no good again! Steve Buscemi as Adam: We better get going! (Mark & Stewie yell in anger & turn off the TV) Mark: I'm still blaming you, Stewie! Stewie: **** YIU BROWN! MARK: Don't you mean "f*ck you, Brown"?